for u..

bismillah..

Tuhan, saya pernah rasa perasaan ni.. perlukah saya rasa lagi sekali??

i write, u read, he reads, they read. i dun know why.. but they do. and they do hurt me then.

speak to me people. i dun care ur words behind me for Allah knows everything.

i dun say that i'm strong cuz i know i really am.

saya rasa seperti ada pihak yang sedang mengatakan perkara yang tidak betul..

patutkah saya tutup fb?? sedangkan ia berguna untuk my study..

patutkah saya delete mereka semua yang bergelar lefternan?? walaupun saya sendiri yang berusaha untuk berkawan dengan mereka, dan saya suka mereka especially bila mereka ambil berat. hello man, dis is ur problem, not theirs.

saya mungkin tak cukup baik, tak cukup alim, tak cukup menurut kata awak. tapi kenapa perlu diteruskan kalau awak tak mahu memahami?? tak suka saya kan?? angkatlah kaki, pergi saja.

setelah 5 tahun, saya abes blaja bila pun awak tak tahu..

saya tak pernah sedirect ini tentang awak. tidak sebelum ini. sebab saya sayang, sayang, sayang dan hormat sangat2. segalanya antara kita berdua. tapi ada hasil yang baik?? positif?? langsung tak. awak kata saya suka balas dendam before, when i never did that (actually u did dat. ego untuk mengakui). i do it now. i do it for it may be my last chance to do this.

kenapa bila perempuan lain direct menulis, jadi pengajaran bagi orang yang dituju. kenapa saya tak pernah buat macam tu?? sebab saya sayang dan hormat. apa yang saya dapat??

"hmm.. sepanjang kita kenalkan, apa yg diea dah buat utk org suka pd diea? selain dr blog yg org x suka tu.."

"org suka 1 jer.. bju melayu tu.. ;) tq.."

"yg lain? sory sy x suka.. jd diea pun faham nape org pun x bg attention pd diea.."

"org hnya sbr je sepanjang kita kenal, even i got nothing fm u.."

"diea selalu dpt ape yg diea nk.."

"org?"

"selalu dapat kata2 yg kesat.."

thank u sir...

ape salah blog ni sebelum ni?? saya janji, mulai sekarang, awak akan betul2 benci blog ni..

should a so called boyfren do dat to his gf?? forget everything dat she did to u, n remember a few dat u like? u never appriciate anything.

jd diea pn faham nape org tak bg attention kat diea. so dat's d reason.. wut happen when u said org suka balas dendam?? cakap pasal diri sendiri ke bro??

dat's wut you call bersabar?? i did a lot lot lot more than that. did i mention it anyway? never. i did it because i want to do it. not to be used when we fight. and now u will learn the real sabar that u think u've done before.

i got what i want because i want it. not because u want to give it to me. undersatnd? use ur brain. God gives it free for u.

u? only got kata-kata kesat.. are u sure??? pernah ke?? i didnt do dat.. tak dipanggil fitnah ke tu??

for the first time dalam hidup rasa tak dihargai macam ni sekali...

i remember d day i slept at 1 and woke up at 4 semata2 untuk pergi commission awak..

i remember d days when i travelled alone hoping dat i can see u..

i remember d feeling when i chose u to be d most important person dat knows everything first..

i remember d day i made u met my mama to let her know u..

i remember d day i went to ur relative's house alone with ur family..

i remember d day i went shopping and bought u something to let u know dat i always think of u..

i'm glad to do all those thing.. i'm happy for doing those..

and i will remember them for the rest of my life.. but i'll never mention it to u.. because everything that i do, i do it because i want to do it, no regret, no questions asked.

now i'm scared. scared of being hurt. scared of anything u do.. cuz i know, it's still the things dat i want.. scared to face d day when u put all d blame on me...

hope your life be good.. i know it will be so...